it's been three days.  it's howls have subsided to a low apathetic mewling.  it won't eat anything i give it.  i can barely make myself go into it's room anymore, the stench is nauseating.  perhaps it will die and save me from the action that has been building in my mind.  i can not take that last step into madness...not yet.  some undaunting morality still grips what remaining faculties i possess.  though i have profaned myself in numerous ways, still there lies a stretch of landscape i will not cross.  though it's mewlings pierce the very heart of sanity!
i sleep too often now.  it comes unbidden and lingers on longer than it should.
i have...dreams.
i can't remember them clearly, but they leave me with a profound sense of dread and relief.  it is the relief i crave.  i think the thing is driving me to break the few remaining taboos i cling to.
i must try to stay awake.
i think it listens to my dreams...